shit I'm really tired, and struggling. my blogging has become um more and more sporadic, and probably set to continue in this vein.

blogging is social exhibitionism, lol. so maybe I'm an exhibitionist, maybe you'd think I like airing my secrets in public, but no all my secrets are locked up somewhere, and the key to that lock doesn't exist. so what are you seeing here then? the face I show to the world, the face that people recognise and think they know.

but you know, sometimes maybe all I need is to spiral down a black hole and let my world disintegrate, if I can't even be sure of myself, then what possibly can I do?

ouchouchOWTCH I'm at home now, again with an out-of-shape and out-of-sorts left ankle. >:-< this is stupid la, I don't even know why it's swelling so badly, probably reaction to insect bite but it SUCKS not to be able to lead an active life.

going off to hospital later to dig out reason for this unknown swelling guh.

[edit]turns out it is something I share with england's numero uno leftback Ashley Cole. A wonderful inflamed ankle which will keep us out of action for 2-3 weeks! the only difference is he gets paid an enormous weekly wage to nurse his ankle and I don't. ): [/edit]

so goes term one - whizzing by in a patch of blur.
somehow I am sorry about not being fervently enthusiastic about everything, just that life isn't what it used to be anymore, it makes wise men wonder while strong men die.
emotionless precisely because of _ but I don't wonder or worry because I'm fine with it. after all, we do "acquire the strength we overcome".

let me just say - I INJURED MY ANKLE TODAY. while running for dear 315, somehow my ankle went boink and flattened into the ground. this is NOT a cause for celebration, contrary to public perception (if kellie tan can be called the "public" la). am waiting a few days to see if it can sort itself out, meanwhile I'm just resting and icing it. grr. I really resent the thought of having to hobble around like bai ka. and if I really have to, trust me I won't be hobbling around in a tragically heroic manner, or having my friends hop down after me on a staircase.

[edit] guh after icing it the swelling went down, so I insanely went to play soccer and guess what? the injury is now aggravated and my ankle is swollen. hooray! see, I rode a rough tackle and took a tumble on that very same ankle. so I may be indisposed for one week, maybe more. one week of not playing soccer? pah! [/edit]