revived;

a memory of intransigence -
a diminished sense of being and only a sense of doing

it all makes me nervous

what else to offer but empty aphorisms?

to all you patient people:
I am currently floundering (especially with chem)
hiatus until whenever As end

nothing ever stops

wish that
a. I were more mature
b. I could go back.. scorch away mistakes, redo certain situations/events

there will be a point when disappointments, loaded upon one another, will be too much to bear - inevitable point. I'm not far off but until then I'll just .. keep working, keep learning, keep hoping but most importantly
keep faith (:

not everything in this perspective is flaked with remembrance;

one day I was mugging and happened to look out of the window - a brilliantly blue sky of almost incomparable beauty and wondered - an entire batch of people mugging their lives away here and eighteen-year-olds elsewhere changing lives, changing their own lives because they want to and because they care, no other superficial reason

but this, this is necessary.

gwh

thanks rjce (:

having found faith (a little) I will press on
idealist?

stop feeling start working

tending towards existence;
if I were a place, I'd be somewhere distant

and you'll be happy

I love YOu!

Today, sitting alone in the cold empty stillness of the music studio, I was overwhelmed by a sudden pang of yearning - knowing that such an integral part of my life would be irrevocably changed. syo has given me some of my happiest moments and memories of 2008 and the privilege of knowing like-minded friends. even more importantly, the sense of being and belonging. that a hundred hearts could beat together with the same pulse, understand and shape the same nuances. that there would always be someplace safe and warm where every single member of the community is treasured and where we return to every thurs night and sat afternoon week after week as a haven; for the music and the people. the festivity of farewell, the triviality of farewell. something is only important if we make it out to be important - so I suppose it is very very true that we must and will move on someday anyway and why not today? it must be clarified though that this was not a personal decision, which made it doubly hard to walk away today. there is ... a tremendous, crippling sense of loss. I will eventually return (I hope), but people change and innate understandings, innate knowledge changes. time is always passing, nothing waiting.
what I really wanted to say was - thank YOu, and the people too (: